Honest Transcript

Posted on February 21, 2017, 6:37 pm
49 secs

This afternoon I was cruising through the WeHo Pavilions parking lot in search of rest. I always feel guilty about taking a full-size space as I can fit in almost anywhere, but there was nothing to be had. Just like that two spots appeared to open up. I was behind two guys. I drove past one as another swerved into a spot, and suddenly I noticed what seemed to be a third spot on the right.

I pulled in, shut the bike off.  Two or three seconds later one of the guys I had passed was honking. The honks meant “hey, I wanted that spot! It was mine — I decided that 15 seconds ago…I had dibbsees!”

Me to Angry Honker, shrugging gesture, smile: “Law of the jungle, dude. Sorry!”
Angry Honker (crew-cutted Latino guy with girlfriend/wife riding shotgun): “You’re an asshole!”
Me to Angry Honker: “Okay!”

Update from disappointed colleague (2.21, 11:30 pm): “It’s Oscar week, dude! You don’t have anything better to write about than parking at Pavilions?”

Me: “It happened, I wrote it up. But I also wrote seven article-riffs earlier today — the bludgeoning of Milo Yiannopoulos, Feud: Bette and Joan, Michael Schulman‘s New Yorker piece on the Oscar games, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Wadsworth’s forest primeval in Franklin Canyon, et. al.”

12 Responses to: Honest Transcript

  1. VR

    February 21st, 2017

    Sounds like some bad hombres in WeHo.

    Reply
  2. Charles Peligro

    February 22nd, 2017

    You ought to write a book called “Tales from the WeHo Pavilions Parking Lot”.

    Reply
    • Aaron B

      February 22nd, 2017

      I can just imagine how many worried parents would petition to have it banned from schools.

      Reply
  3. York Durden

    February 22nd, 2017

    Memo to disappointed colleague: at this point haven’t we all read enough about the Oscars?

    Reply
  4. Stewart Klein

    February 22nd, 2017

    I would rather read 10 more posts about your parking adventures than read one more about La La Land or Moonl… Oh Wait!

    Reply
  5. PC Brownshirt Jackboot

    February 22nd, 2017

    JW, you ever go up the street to the Gelson’s to grab some Clemetine Pellegrinos? The parking is even worse than the Pavillions, but they got those sweet clemmy pelles and you don’t even have to hassle a manager about it!

    Reply
      • PC Brownshirt Jackboot

        February 22nd, 2017

        Oh man, you ROASTED me bro. Consider me dragged.

        Reply
  6. Oaktown

    February 22nd, 2017

    You and I would have had a longer conversation that ended with you moving your bike.

    Reply
    • February 22nd, 2017

      The law of the jungle is the law of the jungle, whether you like it or not. Dibbsies are for pussies.

      Reply
      • Oaktown

        February 22nd, 2017

        How one defines the law of the jungle would definitely be addressed in this imaginary conversation, and the word “pussy” would almost certainly be used.

        Reply
  7. Eric

    February 22nd, 2017

    Wonder what the first H.E. 2017 movie will be that strikes a chord, a la The Founder or Manchester by the Sea.

    Reply

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